STRANGE THINGS #7

STRANGE THINGS #7

I will be presenting a series of some odd, weird, bizarre, strange things that have happened in my life. At about age 8, my mother and I went to downtown Chicago one late fall Saturday afternoon. By 6:00, it was dark and we were strolling by a street level underground subway entrance/exit. An older man with white hair had just climbed up the last few stairs and it was obvious he was very confused as to where he was. He was mumbling to himself, was looking all over the streets and signs and clearly was lost. Both my mother and I stood there in total shock and didn't say a word. This was not any man, this was Jimmy Durante. My parent's generation knew the comedian, singer and personality from the movies when they were young. My generation only knew him from his numerous TV appearances. His unique style and funny voice was like having a really funny grandpa. This was around 1961, so I believe he would have been about 68 then. It was such a surprise and we figured nobody would believe us so we just didn't mention it. 

 

 

YOU SHOULD BE ENRAGED.

YOU SHOULD BE ENRAGED. YOUR PRESIDENT AND HIS PUPPETS HAD MADE SOME LAST MINUTE CHANGES TO THEIR NEW HEALTH CARE BILL. YOU SHOULD NEVER FORGET THIS AND NEVER VOTE FOR A REPUBLICAN EVER AGAIN EXCEPT FOR MAYBE SEWER INSPECTOR.

AND THAT'S A MAYBE.

THE CHANGES DROPPED THE REQUIREMENTS THAT HEALTH INSURANCE COMPANIES HAD TO COVER THE FOLLOWING:

HOSPITALIZATION

PRESCRIPTION DRUGS

LABORATORY/DIAGNOSTIC TESTING

OUTPATIENT CARE

PREGNANCY

MENTAL HEALTH

PREVENTATIVE SERVICES

MATERNITY/NEWBORN CARE

WELLNESS SERVICES

REHABILITATION

PEDIATRIC CARE

SUBSTANCE ABUSE TREATMENT

EMERGENCY SERVICES

DID THEY LEAVE ANYTHING OUT? DID THEY FORGET ANYTHING THAT HEALTH INSURANCE COMPANIES WOULDN'T HAVE TO COVER ANYMORE?

THEY SHOULD HAVE ADDED:

VISITS TO THE DOCTOR

ANY SERVICES PROVIDED BY A DOCTOR OR STAFF

THEY SHOULD HAVE JUST SUBMITTED A BILL THAT SAID "THE ONLY SERVICE REQUIRED TO BE PAID FOR BY A HEALTH INSURANCE COMPANY IS A GET WELL CARD SENT TO THE PATIENT."

THE FACT THAT YOUR PRESIDENT AND YOUR REPRESENTATIVES WOULD TRY AND DO THAT TO YOU IS INEXCUSABLE. VOTE THEM OUT IN 2018.

Chuck Barris Was A Real Little Bitch

Chuck Barris has gone to the big Gong Show in the sky. I was on the Gong Show twice. The first time, I played the song "Classical Gas" flawlessly on a guitar behind the back of my head. Crowd went crazy. Two of the judges gave me 10. Chuck Woolery gave me a 9. That should have been enough to win with 29 points. However, a man in his 80's, came out blew badly on a harmonica and tried to dance while doing it. It was so awful, everybody decided to give him 10 each--30 points just to stir things up. The other time I designed to get gonged. I started out all dressed up, seriously singing in my best crooner voice "I've Grown Accustomed To Your Face," but then moved to the side where a person in a girl pig mask was sloppily devouring a watermelon. As I continued to romantically sing to her, the audience was screaming for the Gong. Which happened. I called the act "Eliot and Pigmalion." Some of you will get it. That aside, I will tell you my observations of having been there twice. The staff members called Barris "Little Napoleon" behind his back. This was an egomaniacal control freak in action every minute. This man would start arguments with all the talent, staff, he was a real little bitch.

STRANGE THINGS #6

STRANGE THINGS #6
I will be presenting a series of some odd, weird, bizarre, strange things that have happened in my life.
Marshall Field's was the greatest department store on State Street in Downtown Chicago. Floors and floors of different upscale departments in an 1800's building attracted shoppers from all over the world. My mother would take my brother and I to the store on Saturdays to go window shopping--we could not afford anything. It still was delightful.
Marshall Field's had a clock theme. They had a clock out on State Street which became a famous meeting place. They had a clock hanging from the ceiling. And they had a HUGE clock built into the entire wall. There had never been a clock this size in any public building anywhere. When I was 7 or 8, I had a nightmare. I was standing on the 1st floor of Marshall Field's and observing the huge clock on the wall. Suddenly, the giant hands on the giant clock went out of control and were spiraling at fast speeds forward, and then backwards and then forward again, etc. It was very frightening and I woke up afraid. This was during the week. That Saturday, my mother took us downtown to Marshall Field's. We entered the store as usual. My mom and brother were looking around at merchandise. I gazed at the humongous clock up on the wall. That instant, the hands on the clock began spinning out of control. In a few seconds, the large hand swept around forward at a fantastic rate of speed, and then went backwards with the same uncontrollable force. I stood there frozen and terrified. The nightmare I had was happening in front of me. I stood there terrified until the hands finally after going back and forth numerous times, settled down into one position. I said nothing to my mother or brother. It was very frightening having relived a nightmare that nobody else was aware was going on. In many visits through the years, I never saw the hands on the clock move like that again. In 2006, Marshall Field's became Macy's despite large protests from generations of customers. The outside clock on State Street continues to be an icon. When I visited in 2010, I searched for the huge wall clock. No current employee ever knew of its existence. I cannot find one picture of it anywhere.

I WAS ABLE TO MATCH UP THIS 1940s PICTURE OF THE CORNERS OF PASS AVE. AND RIVERSIDE DRIVE IN BURBANK, CA

I WAS ABLE TO MATCH UP THIS 1940s PICTURE OF THE CORNERS OF PASS AVE. AND RIVERSIDE DRIVE IN BURBANK, CA NEAR WARNER BROS. STUDIOS WITH THE EXACT LOCATION NOW IN 2016. LOOKS LIKE A FASHIONABLE LADY IS OUT FOR A LUNCHTIME STROLL. WAIT A MINUTE--THAT'S RITA HAYWORTH!

ABC presented a very provocative and unique hypothesis in their new special "The Family Manson" which just aired.

ABC presented a very provocative and unique hypothesis in their new special "The Family Manson" which just aired. They believe that when Manson's music was ultimately rejected by Hollywood record executives (whom he met through the Beach Boys) that this was the linchpin that turned him into a mass murderer. I don't know if anybody working on that show was in any of my monthly film college Psychology classes in Los Angeles, but I presented that exact theory to almost 1000 students in 36 monthly classes over a 3-year period. I started out by showing a Beach Boys video from the late 1960's (when they changed their music with the times) and asked if anybody knew of a connection with this group and Charles Manson. Nobody ever knew. I emphasized that when Manson came to Los Angeles after the Summer Of Love, he had one goal. Becoming a musical superstar. When those dreams were destroyed (and there is no question--he wrote some outstanding music and lyrics that did get some attention from those who could make a difference) he became a monster motivated to exterminate others. I would also show them some paintings and just asked for opinions on these. People thought they were very detailed and commendable works of art. I would then reveal that when this painter had his dreams destroyed of becoming an artist, was rejected by a prominent Art School, he seemed to also go insane with murderous revenge. His name was Adolf Hitler. Killing the creative dreams of talented people can turn them into uncontrollable psychopaths. 

THE BOOT HAS BEEN VOTED OUT OF THE GAME MONOPOLY.

THE BOOT HAS BEEN VOTED OUT OF THE GAME MONOPOLY. I FIND THIS PARTICULARLY DEVASTATING. AS A CHILD, THE BOOT COULD BE USED FOR GREAT COMEDY EFFECT. I USE TO HAVE THE BOOT KICK OTHER PIECES.

HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY

PUBLIC STATEMENT MADE BY ELIOT OVER THE RADIO IN 1992:

PUBLIC STATEMENT MADE BY ELIOT OVER THE RADIO IN 1992:
"IF A CABLE CAN CARRY SOUND TO YOUR TV'S SPEAKER, THAT SPEAKER CAN BECOME A MICROPHONE AND SEND SOUND BACK AS WELL." IT TOOK 25 YEARS, BUT ELIOT WAS RIGHT ON THAT ONE.

THERE ARE TOO MANY CHOICES TO ENTERTAIN US THESE DAYS.

THERE ARE TOO MANY CHOICES TO ENTERTAIN US THESE DAYS.
MANY OF THE FOLKS ON HERE GREW UP WITH:
*3 TV NETWORKS AND ONE INDEPENDENT TV STATION ON THE FAMILY'S ONE B&W TV SET
*ONE AM RADIO STATION THAT PLAYED A WIDE VARIETY OF MUSIC
*A CRAPPY RECORD PLAYER WITH A LIMITED AMOUNT OF ALBUMS AND 45s
*MOVIES YOU COULD EXPECT TO ONLY SEE ONCE IN YOUR LIFE WHEN THEY WERE AT THE THEATERS
*COMIC BOOKS FROM JUST A FEW COMPANIES
*PINBALL MACHINES ONLY IN EATERIES IN CERTAIN CITIES
*BOARD GAMES OF YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOWS
*CHEAP GUITARS AND DRUMS FROM SEARS (PIANOS WERE AN EXPENSIVE LUXURY THAT FEW HAD)

WAS IT BETTER WITH FEWER CHOICES?

STRANGE THINGS #5

STRANGE THINGS #5

I will be presenting a series of some odd, weird, bizarre, strange things that have happened in my life.

When I became a full-time professor at the Los Angeles Film School, I decided to decorate my entire office with posters of films I had seen 25+ times. I had many of them already framed and filled the walls completely--the only professor that did something like that. The film that I knew was missing was "Cinema Paradiso," the most incredible Italian-made story of a boy whose journey through manhood is integrated with motion pictures. If you love movies and haven't seen it, you are missing out on the Italian "Notebook." By the way, watch the ORIGINAL first and NOT the DIRECTOR'S CUT. I was about to order the poster from Amazon. On a weekend, I stopped at a thrift shop to look for a frame for it. Standard movie poster 27 x 41 frames are quite expensive and there are some real bargains on second hand frames if you can find them. I saw a pile of frames leaning against the wall on top of each other. I could see that one of them was a larger frame and that it could very well be a movie poster frame. It was. And somebody had left a movie poster already in it. It was "Cinema Paradiso."

 

IN 1967, THE FBI ATTENDED A MONKEES CONCERT

IN 1967, THE FBI ATTENDED A MONKEES CONCERT TO DETERMINE IF THE BAND WAS PARTICIPATING IN ANTI-VIETNAM PROTEST ACTIVITIES. HERE ARE THE REPORTS MADE UNCLASSIFIED--WHICH AS YOU CAN SEE, HAVE BEEN HEAVILY CENSORED. IT MUST HAVE BEEN DAVY JONES. HE DEFINITELY SEEMED THE MOST RADICAL.