Lost In Translation

Whenever the Academy Awards come around every year, I think of Bill Murray.

And how he was cheated out of the 2003 Best Actor award for "Lost In Translation" because it was politically correct that year to vote for Sean Penn instead.

You may even remember that after Sean Penn's name was called, Bill Murray got up to walk out of the place (he wasn't joking around) and the host at the time had to remind him that we all love him and he should stay.

He had good reason to want to leave. A role like that and a performance like that only comes along once in a lifetime for a man who is normally a comedy actor.

He has tried to duplicate the situation in later years, but there is nothing like Bill Murray in "Lost in Translation."

This low budget film made entirely in Japan was written and directed by Sofia Coppola. She won the Oscar for Best Original Screenplay for the film which was also up for Best Picture and Best Director.

Bill Murray did win the Golden Globe for Best Actor in a Comedy in addition to Best Actor from 20 other leading film societies, but he should have won Best Actor for the Oscars as well.

A relationship film that is very slow moving and subtle as possible tends to have those who adore it and those who loathe it. If you are a man over 45 you will be able to fully understand and appreciate it. Unfortunately, if you are a man 40 or younger it will mean nothing to you and you will be saying "when does this movie start?" all the way until the end. Women of any age immediately become part of the film and its characters.

If you are looking for crazy Bill Murray, you are not going to find it here.
Instead you'll see a sophisticated man contemplating the circumstances of his life and one who never has to directly say what he is thinking as his silence says it loud and clear.

This is one of those films that just gets lost among the blockbusters with wide commercial appeal.

I think you will find it a rewarding experience.

Academy Awards 2010

The best part of the Academy Awards tonight was the short glimpses of the documentaries. They were much more interesting than many of the commercialized movies. It's too bad that unless you really make extreme efforts, you're most likely never to see any of them in your lifetime.

The most fascinating preview tonight was for the animated short "Logorama" which won the award in that category. It is the story of an earthquake hitting Los Angeles which has now become a city made completely of corporate brands and logos. Which is actually what parts of Hollywood now look like.

If you go to it quickly, you can watch both parts of this hilarious social satire at You Tube.
However, it keeps getting taken down by the producers and other people put it back up.

Jay Leno is Back

I just got back from a taping of the "Tonight Show" again with host Jay Leno at NBC in Burbank. It went on smoothly as if Jay had never left the first time. Since I will have seen it hours before any of you will be able to, I have some observations.

Jay's first guest was Chelsea Handler who apparently has to let out a predictable 8th grade level sexually suggestive retort every other thing she says. I thought we were past that kind of thing years ago.

When Jay and Chelsea leave the studio and go up in a helicopter, it is actually live! Usually, highly technical comedy bits like that are taped in advance and then played after the person is out of view. This is because things can go wrong with audio and video or other technical problems. In this case, they actually are doing it live.

The audience went crazy every time Jay mentioned that Olympic skater Apollo Ohno would be on. When he finally came on, the place erupted in chaos. Its about time that somebody with an actual skill is given superstar status as a celebrity.

Unlike the cast of "Jersey Shore" which appeared at the beginning of the show in a game show skit.

At least one thing about America is back to normal. Jay Leno hosting the "Tonight Show."

GOLDFINGER

"Goldfinger" is my favorite James Bond movie. I've seen it over 50 times and look forward to another 50. I recently purchased some special DVD edition that had the director and others talking about making the film as you watched it. If you are a baby boomer, this is probably one of your favorite 007 films as well.

I wanted to share some things that I had never known and learned from this edition.

1. Gert Frobe who played Goldfinger was a German character actor who spoke no English. They had him just mimic his lines in the best English he could imitate and then his voice was dubbed in later in its entirety by another actor. I never suspected that. The dubbing was impeccable.

2. The opening scene in Miami Beach was filmed without Sean Connery, Gert Frobe or other major characters. They were later matted into the poolside scenery and other closeups were matched by recreating the scene in a studio. Again, 45 years later, this was news because it all looks so seamless making you believe they all filmed at the Miami hotel poolside.

3. Even when the blonde girl is giving cheating instructions to Goldfinger from her hotel balcony, that was done in a studio. It was matted against real footage taken at the hotel from the same angles.

4. The actor who played OddJob, Harold Sakata, was exactly the opposite of what he portrayed on the screen. Everybody called him the sweetest and kindest man they had ever met.

5. 007's Aston Martin had some other tricks which got edited out or were never used at all.

6. Pussy Galore was a lesbian in the original book. Various censors did not approve of her name for filming and only because it was appealed by the producers did it become ok to use. In a bubble gum trading card set for kids about the film, the name is completely left out.

7. The government would not allow the producers into Fort Knox. There were not even any photos available to study. The set designer just created his own vision on the inside of a studio set. Only the front existed in the building copy they made for the film. Complete shots were taken flying over the real thing.

8. The author Ian Fleming died just a few weeks before the film's premiere.

I will add anything else that stood out.

GEORGE BUSH APOLOGIZED TO AMERICANS TODAY FOR HIS EIGHT YEARS IN OFFICE

GEORGE BUSH APOLOGIZED TODAY TO AMERICANS FOR HIS EIGHT YEARS IN OFFICE

Good morning, and thank you for joining me. Now every one of you has good reason to be critical of me. I want to say to each of you, simply and directly, I am deeply sorry for my irresponsible and selfish behavior I engaged in. I know people want to find out how I could be so selfish and so foolish.

I am also aware of the pain my behavior has caused to those of you in this room. I have let you down, and I have let down my fans. For many of you, especially my friends, my behavior has been a personal disappointment. To those of you who work for me, I have let you down personally and professionally. My behavior has caused considerable worry to my business partners.

But still, I know I have bitterly disappointed all of you. I have made you question who I am and how I could have done the things I did. I am embarrassed that I have put you in this position. For all that I have done, I am so sorry.

I have a lot to atone for, but there is one issue I really want to discuss. What I did is not acceptable, and I am the only person to blame. I stopped living by the core values that I was taught to believe in. I knew my actions were wrong, but I convinced myself that normal rules didn't apply. I never thought about who I was hurting. Instead, I thought only about myself. I thought I could get away with whatever I wanted to. I felt that I had worked hard my entire life and deserved to enjoy all the temptations around me. I felt I was entitled. Thanks to money and fame, I didn't have to go far to find them.

I was wrong. I was foolish. I don't get to play by different rules. The same boundaries that apply to everyone apply to me. I brought this shame on myself.

I've had a lot of time to think about what I've done. My failures have made me look at myself in a way I never wanted to before. It's now up to me to make amends and that starts by never repeating the mistakes I've made. It's up to me to start living a life of integrity.

Parents used to point to me as a role model for their kids. I owe all those families a special apology. I want to say to them that I am truly sorry.

It's hard to admit that I need help, but I do. For 45 days from the end of December to early February, I was in inpatient therapy receiving guidance for the issues I'm facing. I have a long way to go. But I've taken my first steps in the right direction.

As I proceed, I understand people have questions. Some have written things about my family. Despite the damage I have done, I still believe it is right to shield my family from the public spotlight. They did not do these things; I did.

I recognize I have brought this on myself, and I know above all I am the one who needs to change. I owe it to my family to become a better person. I owe it to those closest to me to become a better man. That's where my focus will be.

I have a lot of work to do, and I intend to dedicate myself to doing it. Part of following this path for me is Buddhism, which my mother taught me at a young age. People probably don't realize it, but I was raised a Buddhist, and I actively practiced my faith from childhood until I drifted away from it in recent years. Buddhism teaches that a craving for things outside ourselves causes an unhappy and pointless search for security. It teaches me to stop following every impulse and to learn restraint. Obviously, I lost track of what I was taught.

As I move forward, I will continue to receive help because I've learned that's how people really do change. Starting tomorrow, I will leave for more treatment and more therapy.

Finally, there are many people in this room, and there are many people at home who believed in me. Today, I want to ask for your help. I ask you to find room in your heart to one day believe in me again.

Thank you.

SOUNDS LIKE IT'S MADE UP--BUT IT'S NOT

An affluent high school in suburban Philadelphia has prided itself on the fact that it is technologically advanced and gives all of its students an expensive lap top to borrow as part of the curriculum.

What they didn't tell students was that they could remotely turn the camera on, and view and record them. Apparently when an administrator told a student that the school didn't approve of something he was doing at home, this whole story just opened up.

It sounds like a made up story, but it is not. Harriton High School is now being sued by a number of families who also believe they were spied on by the school.

The students are now placing tape over the camera and microphone on the computer.

The school district will only say that it uses the remote technology when a computer is lost and stolen and they want to see who is using it.

Ironically, the book "1984" by George Orwell is required reading at the school.

An Education - Worthy Of Best Picture

The British film industry is most prolific at making films about life in England. They accomplish this royally once again with "An Education," a low budget comedy-drama that takes place north of London in 1961. This extraordinary film works on numerous levels and despite a lack of big name star power is charming one moment, challenging another and is absolutely worth seeing if you are tired of blockbuster 3-D science fiction extravaganzas. If you love reading novels, were captivated by films like "34 Charing Cross Road" and find the very early 1960's to be special, you really need to see this. It's up for our own Best Picture, but those 3-D science fiction extravaganzas tend to be chosen first.

Happy Valentine's Day From America

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY FROM AMERICA!

February 14, 2010

1. ISLAMABAD, Pakistan — Two missiles fired from an American drone aircraft killed at least six.

2. MARJAH, Afghanistan ---12 Afghan civilians were killed when two stray rockets hit a house near the town of Marjah.

OOPS, SORRY ABOUT THAT!

Ringo Starr Gets His Star

It was great fun last night watching Ringo Starr get his star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame in Hollywood in front of Capitol Records. Ringo was his usual witty Liverpool self and gave a wonderful off-the-cuff speech. What was really funny was when the Mayor of Los Angeles (who recently said he was firing 1000 workers to balance his budget) was unanimously booed when he introduced Ringo. The most surprising part came when Ringo introduced his "brother-in-law," Joe Walsh of The Eagles. Everybody thought he was joking until he revealed that just a while back, Walsh married the younger sister of his wife, Barbara Bach, actually making Joe Walsh his real brother-in-law.
I personally was surprised and here's why. The last time I saw Joe Walsh is when he was hanging around Amoeba Records in Hollywood when Paul McCartney was in town and at the store. At that time, I was standing talking to Joe Walsh when a limo pulled up and Ringo stepped out. I was yelling "Ringo," and Joe Walsh said nothing and didn't seem very interested.
So when I heard that Walsh was now his brother-in-law, I realized that it obviously happened after I ran into him on Sunset Blvd. Sometimes its fun living 5 minutes from Hollywood.

Hope You Are Celebrating Life

Tim Tebow and his mother were the stars of a series of commercials during the Superbowl which "Celebrate Family, Celebrate Life" and were paid for by the right-winged Christian organization Focus on the Family.

When your government continues to send flying drones into Pakistan that arbitrarily kill innocent men, women and children...that's not celebrating life and family, is it?

When your government's presence in Iraq results weekly in the slaughter of dozens of innocent men, women and children...that's not celebrating life and family, is it?

When your government's lack of action results in the death of dozens of Americans weekly due to lack of access to medical care and food, that's not celebrating life and family, is it?

Will you ever see Focus on the Family and the Tebows address these issues? Highly unlikely.

I hope you enjoyed the priority of most Americans--the Super Bowl.

You BETTER Be For The Saints

Fascism is alive and thriving in American high schools! With Superbowl fever at its peak, especially in New Orleans and Indiana, the students at a New Orleans high school were told they can wear Saints' jerseys to school to show their support. One student, who had moved from Indianapolis to New Orleans, decided to show his support for the Colts instead by wearing their jersey.

Called in to the principal's office, suspended and sent home for his outlandish discretion, the ACLU has, with good reason, gotten involved and has told the school to remove the suspension.

Trivial you think? Fascism has been creeping into our society since George W. Bush SENIOR came into office in the 1980's. Each little incident like this moves us closer and closer to a society as seen by George Orwell.

AIG STILL SUCKS

THEY ARE DOING IT FOR A SECOND TIME.

THE INSURANCE COMPANY WHICH YOU SAVED BY GIVING IT ALMOST 200 BILLION OF YOUR HARD EARNED WORK TAXES, MUST SIMPLY GIVE OUT ANOTHER $100 MILLION IN BONUSES THIS WEEK. THE AVERAGE EMPLOYEE WILL RECEIVE A BONUS OF $400,000 AND DOZENS WILL RECEIVE $1 MILLION EACH.

WHAT DID YOU GET FOR YOUR CHRISTMAS BONUS IN DECEMBER IF YOU ARE LUCKY ENOUGH TO HAVE A JOB?

AND THE AMAZING THING IS THAT AIG CONTINUES TO JUSTIFY THIS BY SAYING THAT THESE EXTRAORDINARY EMPLOYEES WILL SIMPLY LEAVE IF THEY DON'T GET THEIR BONUSES. AFTER ALL, THERE IS NOBODY TO REPLACE THEM.
YES, NOBODY COULD POSSIBLY SCREW UP LIKE THEY DID.

THERE WAS AN OUTRAGE THE FIRST TIME THEY DID THIS AND THEY KNEW IT WOULD ALL DIE DOWN. AND THEY KNOW BY DOING IT THIS WEEK, IT WILL ALL DIE DOWN AGAIN BY SUPERBOWL WEEKEND. IT WAS TIMED THAT WAY.

YOU CAN PROTEST BY TAKING YOUR INSURANCE NEEDS TO ANY OTHER COMPANY THAT DID NOT RECEIVE BAILOUT FUNDS.

Holden Caulfield Still Frightens The Establishment

Almost 60 years after it was published, "Catcher In The Rye" continues to be banned by a number of school districts across America.

And why not? Holden Caulfield challenges the establishment, he questions authority, he laughs at social norms, he smokes, he swears, solicits prostitutes and thinks for himself.

This is apparently dangerous to some adults, many of whom were required to read J.D. Salinger's precedent setting book in the 50's, 60's and 70's.

In the 1950's it was banned in almost every high school in America. After all, The Hardy Boys were enough fun and adventure for America's conformist students. Those with a daring side could try Ernest Hemingway, at least those of his books which were approved.

Maybe it was Holden Caulfield that ignited the rebellious spark in that generation which refused to trust their government and protested America's involvement in other countries' civil wars.

Book banning still goes on in America. Strangely enough, "The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn" used to be banned because its main character was a smart-ass, rebellious child character who didn't care what adults told him to do. Today, the same book is banned for a different reason. It is now politically incorrect. Because the book uses a dialect and concepts which we now consider racist, it is considered insensitive and unreadable.

Of course, when it was written, it actually was satirizing racist people of its time.

You can find a reason to ban any piece of literature if you try hard enough.

I thought I would share with you a typical recent half-a-month in Iraq that continues on due to U.S. military presence costing $300 MILLION PER DAY courtesy of your taxes. Do you even care?
	Car driver by bomb attached to car, Al-Zab, southwest of Kirkuk	16 Jan 2010
	Trade Ministry employee shot dead in car in east Baghdad	16 Jan 2010
	Twenty-five by bombs in Jumla market, Najaf	14 Jan 2010
	Sunni high school student shot dead in Khalis	14 Jan 2010
	One by bomb in market, Mu'lemeen, Baquba	14 Jan 2010
	Man by bomb attached to car in Khalidiya	14 Jan 2010
	Man and woman shot dead in Al-Arabi, west Mosul	14 Jan 2010
	One by roadside bomb, Tesaa Bayar, Abu Ghraib	13 Jan 2010
	Seven by suicide truck bomb in Saqlawiyah, near Falluja	13 Jan 2010
	Awakening Council member shot dead in Edhaim	13 Jan 2010
	One shot dead in Ameen, Baquba	13 Jan 2010
	Four police by car bomb in Sadiyah	12 Jan 2010
	One by hand grenade in house in al-Qebla, Basra	12 Jan 2010
	Taxi driver shot dead in al-Mussayab	11 Jan 2010
	Christian vegetable seller shot dead, al-Sanaa al-Qadeema, west Mosul	11 Jan 2010
	Body found shot dead in Rouna Ki, south Kirkuk	11 Jan 2010
	Man shot in crossfire between insurgents and police in Mosul	10 Jan 2010
	Body of young man found shot dead, Dorra, al-Dabas, west of Kirkuk	9 Jan 2010- 10 Jan 2010
	15- or 16-year-old boy by roadside bomb, Sinaat al-Karama, east Mosul	9 Jan 2010
	Brother of Accountability and Justice Committee member shot dead in east Baghdad	9 Jan 2010
	Newly married couple found dead in home in Souran, northeast of Arbil	9 Jan 2010
	Two police by roadside bomb, Ras Al-Jadeh , west Mosul	8 Jan 2010
	Policeman by roadside bomb in Khanaqin	7 Jan 2010
	6-7 by bombs in Hit	7 Jan 2010
	One by roadside bomb, Imam Wees road, south al-Saadiya	6 Jan 2010
	Two children by bomb in flat in Wadi Hajar, south Mosul	6 Jan 2010
	Ten-year-old child by roadside bomb, Yenkeje, near Tuz Khormato	6 Jan 2010
	Five women in traffic collision with US vehicle, Al-Nil, north of Hilla	6 Jan 2010
	Three police by roadside bombs in Wahed Athar, south Kirkuk	4 Jan 2010
	Three by roadside bomb in central Mosul	4 Jan 2010
	Bodies of 2 brothers kidnapped in 2005 found in Talafar	4 Jan 2010
	Three security guards shot dead in Tal Abta, west of Mosul	3 Jan 2010
	Body of man found strangled in Tal al-Riman, west Mosul	3 Jan 2010
	Body of kidnapped young man found stabbed in Abrahim al-Khalil , south of Hilla	2 Jan 2010- 4 Jan 2010
	Man by car bombs, Eshreen Street, Bayaa, Baghdad	2 Jan 2010
	Body of man found in car on Kanan-Baladruz road	2 Jan 2010
	Two police shot dead on outskirts of Mosul	2 Jan 2010
	Policeman by bomb attached to car in Falluja	1 Jan 2010

Supreme Court Decision Good For NBC

Burbank, CA - AP

The Supreme Court's decision this week that corporations can spend as much money as they like on political campaigns will benefit all the major broadcasters and especially NBC. The network which has only one show in the top 30, a football game, announced that they will become a full-time network that will air only political commercials sponsored by corporations.

Jeff Zucker, head of NBC says, "we don't care who they're for or who they're against. We will become the 24-hour 'all political commercials paid for by corporations' network! We'll be swimming in the money shortly!"

NBC said, "we'll have all 30-60 second spots running all day. To break up the monotony, we'll have only two shows, one will be 'Jay Leno hosts the funniest political commercials sponsored by corporations' and 'Conan has his roster of characters acting out political commercials sponsored by corporations.' We're already booked up for a year!"

No difference between 1953 and 2010

When I was born 57 years ago today, a man named Joe McCarthy was running around accusing everybody of being Communists.

Today, 4 different Joe McCarthy's continue the tradition:

Sarah Palin - Blame It All On God.

Sarah Palin - Blame It All On God.

Sarah Palin has an answer for why everything happens. "It's All God's Plan."

That has been her answer to numerous questions including the explanation of why there is an Iraq War and why she was thrown into the spotlight of politics.

She needs to realize that using her same inspirational logic, it was "God's Plan" for her underage unmarried daughter to have a baby, for her and John McCain to lose the 2008 Presidential Election, for Jay Leno to lose and regain 'The Tonight Show,' and thankfully for both Simon and Paula Abdul to leave 'Idol'."

Considering she not only called the Iraq War part of "God's Plan" AND "a task that is from God," hopefully she doesn't see large scale human tragedies such as earthquakes, also part of "God's Plan."

You never know what these right-winged maniacs are really thinking (as proven so far by Rush Limbaugh and Pat Robertson).

3 Last Presidents Join Forces

PAT ROBERTSON -- GO TO HELL OR HADES OR HAITI OR SOMEWHERE ELSE FAR AWAY

PAT ROBERTSON -- GO TO HELL OR HADES OR HAITI OR SOMEWHERE ELSE FAR AWAY

RIGHT-WINGED REPUBLICAN TV EVANGELIST PAT ROBERTSON TODAY SAID THAT THE PEOPLE OF HAITI EXPERIENCED THE EARTHQUAKE WHICH HAS KILLED A MINIMUM OF OVER 100,000 OF THEIR PEOPLE BECAUSE--"THEY ONCE MADE A PACT WITH THE DEVIL."

HOURS LATER, SEARCHING FOR A WAY TO COVER-UP HIS STUPIDITY, HE SAID:
"Haiti? I thought they said 'Hades.'"

FOX NEWS IS PROBABLY GOING TO HIRE PAT ROBERTSON AS THEIR NEWEST COMMENTATOR.

AP, Newspapers, Networks...Please Hire A Proofreader

In the last two years, the major wire services, newspapers and networks online continue to release stories filled with typos, mistakes and other glaring errors.

Why can't they hire a proofreader before releasing stories online?

This compelling story was ruined tonight when I read the first paragraph:

AMSTERDAM, Netherlands – AP -- Miep Gies, the office secretary who defied the Nazi occupiers to hide Anne Frank and her family for two years and saved the teenager's diary not, has died, the Anne Frank Museum said Tuesday. She was 100.

This emotional and intriguing story is destroyed as you read the first few lines and then read it over and over again while saying to yourself, "what? that doesn't make sense."

Happy Birthday Elvis!

Elvis would have been 75 today.

I had the opportunity in my life to talk with members of his "Memphis Mafia," his stepbrother and to Scotty Moore, his original rockabilly guitarist.

For those of you who dismiss Elvis as an actor, probably because all you have seen are some of his "travelogues" such as "Blue Hawaii" or "Viva Las Vegas," take the time to view films he made which show his incredible abilities as a serious performer.

"Love Me Tender," "King Creole," "Charro" and "Stay Away Joe" will show you a very talented performer who could have been as famous as an actor as he was a singer.

However, he only did what Col. Tom Parker told him to do which basically were the travelogues and "make a fast buck" TV-style films.

Scotty Moore told me something that I had never seen in print anywhere before.

He said that when Elvis rose to stardom so fast as a singer, he actually got bored with it and wanted to do something unique: He wanted to form a strictly INSTRUMENTAL group where he would play piano and guitar only and not sing.

When I said that sounded absurd, Moore told me that he was just as surprised, but Elvis told him that.

The Insane Kansas Personalized Plate Story

Kansas doesn't make the news very often, but now that it has over this story, you have to really wonder what goes on over there.

It turns out that Kansas (up until this week) has all these years had quite an unusual policy regarding personalized license plates.

Let's say that you wanted the Kansas personalized license plate: HUSKERS

The Kansas DMV would send it to you AS THEY DID to the almost 50 other car owners that wanted it as well.

I am not talking about HUSKERS1 and HUSKERS2, etc., all 50 people who wanted that "HUSKERS" personalized plate received it.

As did 30,000 other people who wanted personalized plates of an already existing license plate.

Apparently, Kansas just figured out that this is not very efficient for many obvious reasons, so they have decided that the first person that had the plate of any duplicate name gets to keep it, and everybody else must find a new one that is not being used.

People who were contacted this week and told they must get a new plate are thinking, "I don't think we're in Kansas anymore."

FROM HERE TO MATERNITY

Why Can't You Act Like This the Rest of the Year?

Jose Feliciano, the writer and performer of the Christmas standard, "Felice Navidad," became very upset when he heard a parody of his song called "The Illegal Alien Christmas Song." That is not the issue I am concerned with. But this is.

Here is his statement: "When I wrote and composed 'Feliz Navidad,' I chose to sing in both English and Spanish in order to create a bridge between two wonderful cultures during the time of year in which we hope for goodwill toward all."

And that's the problem. Most of you think you should only have goodwill towards others during that special "time of year." And the hell with the rest of the year--you're just going to go back and be your regular selfish, greedy selves until you are required to have goodwill for that one week at the end of the year.

Most of you have been brainwashed by American corporations that you MUST give presents to all of your family and friends during that one week. Did you do anything charitable for a needy person during that week or anytime during the year? Did you walk by and ignore that starving homeless person from December 26 up until December 20th of the next year?

I do charitable things all year round. But I don't come up here and discuss them--because then it would not be charitable.

Don't fret, December 26th is almost here and you can all go back to reserving any compassion you might have for those less fortunate than you until December 20th of next year.

"Mandy" starring The Sims

You may or may not be familiar with "The Sims," a video game in which you control the lives of various characters you create. The new trend is to create various tiny scenes, digitize them and using computer film editing software, putting together a mini-movie.

The most wonderful production called "Mandy" with the Barry Manilow song playing is on YouTube. It is amazing because it touches everybody who sees it.

It shows that moving images combined with music makes for very powerful communications--even if it is with something as basic and silly as The Sims.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DUy4CrlEtvA

Uninvited White House Guests

The last time that an uninvited guest got into the White House, he stayed 8 years.


By the way...it took George Bush eight years to destroy the country...
Obama has only had one year to try and fix it back up.

"This is Dick Clark Saying, ..."What? Oh My God!"

" Hi Everybody! Today on Bandstand we've got Fabian, Annette and special guest Adam Lambert who will participate in S&M bondage and then simulate oral sex acts! Then we'll RATE-A-RECORD."


As you've probably heard or seen by now, Adam Lambert appeared on the Dick Clark Productions-produced and ABC-Disney owned broadcast of the American Music Awards performing a musical number containing S&M bondage and simulated oral sex acts.
It was broadcast live to all of the country except the West Coast.

Dick Clark Productions spent the day getting the video taken down on YouTube and even any unknown sites that were featuring it.

Mickey and Minnie Mouse are hiding in Pluto's Dog House until the storm blows over.

At this rate, Dick Clark is not going to make it to another New Year's Eve.

Condoleezza Rice

I went to hear former Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice speak tonight. She spoke for 45 minutes and answered prepared questions for another 45. She was very charismatic and at times even had the place laughing loudly.

She believes that the U.S. must stay in Afghanistan and greatly increase the number of troops over there. She says this is due to the threat of terrorists who continue to plot against our country.

When asked if China is going to overtake us as the world's major economic power, she said that if we continue to follow unsound economic policies, than it will.

What she did not comment on is the fact that the U.S. has almost completely lost its entire manufacturing base to China. What do you have that doesn't say "Made In China" on it?
Those millions of jobs in manufacturing ARE NOT coming back. And that's why we are in the mess we've been in for a couple of years. Americans without jobs are people who cannot go out and purchase products and services, thereby creating subsequent layoffs in a continuing spiral.

On a lighter note, she revealed how George W. managed to get a strike when he threw the first ball at a major league baseball game. "He practiced that over and over," said Condee.

I Figured Out Sarah Palin Today

After listening to Sarah Palin speak for 30 minutes on a talk show today, I finally figured out why many Americans think she is just so special.

1. Almost every statement she makes is some platitude she picked up somewhere else and is so simplistic that it appeals to people's emotions rather than their logic.

2. She speaks about politics/history/economics on a 9th grade level. It is so shallow and devoid of any depth--it appeals perfectly to the same Americans that think the Reader's Digest is a scholarly and intellectual journal.

THAT'S SICK

Those of you over 30 grew up learning that the meaning of something being "sick" is that it is creepy, crude, in bad taste, gross and shocking. If you are under 30, you know that the term "sick" now means really "cool." (Just wait until your parents start using the newer term, you'll abandon it faster than your Miley Cyrus records and claim you never used the word in your life)

A wave of humor swept America in the innocent early 1960's. Spurred on by good feelings about JFK, Mad Magazine, classic TV sitcoms, novelty records, an abundance of comedy films and funny trading cards, it was not long before some really "sick" jokes started circulating among schoolchildren nationwide.

When they are the first three sick jokes you've heard, you don't forget them:

"Besides that Mrs. Lincoln, how did you enjoy the play?"

"Q: How did Helen Keller's mother punish her?
A: She moved the furniture around"

"A group of boys ring a doorbell.
Mother: Hello Boys.
Boys: Can Jimmy come out and play?
Mother: But you know Jimmy has no arms and legs.
Boys: That's OK. We just wanted to use him as second base."

Of course, these days if you told such jokes as a child in school:
some Federal Agency would be there in 5 minutes taking reports;
the child would be placed in some "sensitivity" workshop;
other children's parents would sue because their children suffered emotional distress;
Al Sharpton would be flown in to lecture to the children, parents and community.

The Lincoln joke these days would be called "historically inappropriate."

I came across a site with some very sick little cartoons.
And you also won't be able to stop yourself from bursting out laughing at these:

http://channelate.com/2009/06/17/stop-fighting/

A Federal Judge Correctly Follows The Constitution

A Federal judge has correctly ruled that South Carolina's one-religion only license plate is a violation of the First Amendment and may not be issued on automobiles.

The state's Lt. Governor and a few legislators are incensed by the ruling and even issued statements about how furious they are. After all--when asked if other religions would be issued special license plates as well--they refused to get involved with that. Apparently, only one religion is good enough for the state of South Carolina.

I expected that a Federal court would respect the clear separation of church and state we are privileged to have in this country and rule as they did.

But just in case, I prepared these plates for South Carolina.

Not An Ounce Of Compassion In These People

Now that the House has passed the Health Care Bill, Fox News has turned up the steam all the way to try and prevent it from successfully leaving the Senate and landing on the President's desk. With headlines like:

"WILL HEALTH VOTE DOOM DEMS?
Democrats will suffer at the polls for their vote in favor of sweeping health care reform package"

Fox News is now targeting both Senators and Congressman outright threatening their longevity if they continue to support the plan.

Fox News prefers an America where sick, hungry and homeless people line the streets of our cities. After all, these people don't deserve free health care. They got themselves into these situations and they need to get themselves out--without Americans providing for their health and well being.

Roger Ailes and the rest of his cronies need to watch "Groundhog Day" and develop some humanity and compassion in their lives--which they clearly don't have.

Tis The Season For Religious Nuts

Every November and December, the religious nuts come out in force and demand special rights and privileges. They are ignorant of the Constitution and could care less about the rights of other members of the community.

A California woman has decided that the best way to force her religion on others is by creating a ballot proposition.

I thought it was a joke when I heard that a woman has filed for a petition to require PUBLIC schools in California to offer Christmas religious music in classrooms and assemblies.
If she can get 500,000 signatures it would be placed in a statewide election.
If such a proposition was actually voted in favor of, it would take about 24 hours for a court to rule that it violates the First Amendment.

But it is amusing watching the efforts.

Here is the actual text (this is real):

Article 1.5. Freedom to Present Christmas Music in Public School Classrooms or
Assemblies
52710. The people of Califomia find and declare both of the following:
(a) Listening to, or performing, Christmas music during the holiday season is a
longstanding American tradition and a significant element of our cultural heritage as
Americans.
(b) The parents and guardians ofpublic school children should have the right to
decide whether or not their children may hear Christmas music in the classrooms and
assemblies at those schools.
52711. As used in this article, "Christmas music" includes, but is not necessarily
limited to, carols, songs, and instrumental works whose subject matter relates to the
celebration ofthe Christmas holiday or to the season during which that holiday is
observed.
52712. (a) Each public elementary and secondary school shall provide
opportunities to its pupils for listening to or performing Christmas music at an
appropriate time ofyear. The appreciation or performance ofthe Christmas music may
be incorporated into the subject matter of an arts or social studies class, presented for
cultural enrichment during a school assembly, or both.

(b) Each public elementary and secondary school shall provide the parent or
guardian ofa pupil with written notice of the presentation or performance of Christmas
music in a classroom or assembly at least 21 calendar days before that pupil would be
required to be present for the presentation or performance of the Christmas music. The
written notice provided to the parent or guardian shall include a tear-off slip or other
method for the parent or guardian to inform the school if he or she chooses that the
pupil not be present for the presentation or performance of the Christmas music.

I THINK I WILL SUBMIT MY OWN PETITION FOR A SIMILAR LAW:

Article 1.5. Freedom to Present Hare Krishna Music in Public School Classrooms or
Assemblies
52710. The people of Califomia find and declare both of the following:
(a) Listening to, or performing, Hare Krishna music is a
longstanding American tradition and a significant element of our cultural heritage as
Americans.
(b) The parents and guardians of public school children should have the right to
decide whether or not their children may hear Hare Krishna music in the classrooms and
assemblies at those schools.
52711. As used in this article, "Hare Krishna music" includes, but is not necessarily
limited to, chants, mantras, songs, dances and instrumental works whose subject matter relates to the celebration of Hare Krishna.
52712. (a) Each public elementary and secondary school shall provide
opportunities to its pupils for listening to or performing Hare Krishna music at an
appropriate time of year. The appreciation or performance of Hare Krishna music may
be incorporated into the subject matter of an arts or social studies class, presented for
cultural enrichment during a school assembly, or both.
(b) Each public elementary and secondary school shall provide the parent or
guardian of a pupil with written notice of the presentation or performance of Hare Krishna
music in a classroom or assembly at least 21 calendar days before that pupil would be
required to be present for the presentation or performance of the Hare Krishna music. The
written notice provided to the parent or guardian shall include a tear-off slip or other
method for the parent or guardian to inform the school if he or she chooses that the
pupil not be present for the presentation or performance of the Hare Krishna music.

Some People Think They Have Special Rights

A man in Michigan has filed a suit against the county he lives in over a Nativity scene which his family has placed in a public area of the street for the last 60 years. Last year, the county was advised that if the tradition continued that they would be the target of a First Amendment "separation of church and state" lawsuit. They informed the man that he would not be allowed to put up his Nativity scene ever again on a public street median owned by all members of the community. The man has decided that he apparently has special rights to force his religion on all members of the community.

Even though the community is made up of Christians, Muslims, Jews, Buddhists, Hindus, Atheists, Agnostics and those that want nothing to do with religion, the man feels that his religion should be given special treatment and forced upon all members of the public for the next two months as they have to drive by it. It's not good enough that he can place the 3-D depiction of his religious fantasies on the property of his own church, he believes that public property is the only place where it belongs.

I hereby demand that the true creator of the universe, the Flying Spaghetti Monster, be given the same special treatment that this man believes he is entitled to. I want this realistic painting of His Noodleness to be placed on the public street median in the town of Warren, Michigan immediately. For it is only the Flying Spaghetti Monster who loves all of mankind and causes them to be divinely inspired for truth, justice and the American way.



Should a court decide his way (I highly doubt that will happen), it will become necessary to demand equal space on the public street median in Warren, Michigan for the presence of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

My Favorite Hoax

My Favorite Hoax played on the media goes back to 1976-77. Some of you might consider it more of idiotic behavior than a hoax, but it certainly fooled the #1 KABC Eyewitness News station.

At one minute to 4 or 5, I forget which, Jerry Dunphy announced with great enthusiasm, "The Beatles Are Getting Back Together!" the station went to a commercial and thousands of people were yelling with excitement as they waited for the news to start.

"The Beatles are Getting Back Together" said the smiling Dunphy as he told of how a promoter has gotten the legendary band back together for a concert tour and all the details would be available shortly as a press conference was about to begin. But KABC's Eyewitness News decided to get the story headline out before its competitors--the owned and operated CBS and NBC stations. Maybe they should have waited.

During the press conference, which was now filled with every TV, radio, newspaper and wire service in Los Angeles and foreign press, the promoter eagerly began the conference by stating that The Beatles were reforming for a worldwide concert tour.

The problem was that The Beatles were the only ones who didn't know anything about it.

The promoter continued. He announced that he had sent a telegram to each member of The Beatles. The wire that they each received told them that they would be reforming for a worldwide concert tour--and if he, the promoter, did not hear back from them immediately, he would assume that they automatically agree to participate.

When the press heard this foolishness, there was a big groan, cameras were turned off and the press started walking away.

By the 11'o clock KABC News, John Lennon, Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr had totally ignored the absurdity of the situation. But it was George Harrison who really got mad about this. Through his lawyer, George issued a statement to the promoter that basically said he declined the invitation and had never agreed to any such arrangement.

KABC, now looking very foolish, announced that The Beatles were not getting back together as they reported earlier and the terms the promoter laid out at the press conference. They even played a tape of them getting into the promoter's face, telling him, "do you realize how many people you have disappointed with this?"

I have always wondered if this nut really thought he was going to be taken seriously.

He's probably a Congressman now.

Fox News - Miami - October 15, 2009

RUSH LIMBAUGH's ego became so inflated during today's radio show that he suddenly transformed into a giant hot air-blimp. As he told a conflicted America about how wonderful he was, the unexplainable phenomenon found him suddenly soaring above the Miami skyline. He quickly turned himself towards the West saying, "Maybe if I fly over that decadent Los Angeles, I can get them to think clearly from all that smog and other forms of smoke."

How Do You Libel Stalin?

Being of Russian and Hungary/Czech ancestry, I found today's big story from Moscow to be quite deranged.

The grandson of Josef Stalin sued a Russian newspaper that he claims "libeled" his grandfather.

The range of how many people Stalin murdered stretches from 20-50 million.

The court threw out the case.

How do you begin to libel Josef "A single death is a tragedy; a million deaths is a statistic" Stalin?

I had a real breath of fresh air tonight.

I had a real breath of fresh air tonight.

I attended a 2-hour speech by Bill Clinton in Pasadena.

To hear the former President speak about things that matter:

The charitable work his NGO is doing worldwide to get clean water, medicine, food and other basic needs to millions of desperate people worldwide...

instead of being saturated with 24-hour coverage of David Letterman's love life...

really put things in perspective.

Mr. Clinton did comment on the fact that the news media now creates the news instead of covering it.

More on this later.

American Schoolchildren Being Forced To Perform Daily Satanic Ritual

by Michael Y. Park

On the heels of our groundbreaking story which revealed that an American elementary school horrifyingly had its students singing a song of praise about the President of the United States, Fox News has learned that a brainwashing ritual is being performed every morning at yet another American public school.

Reportedly, students at Richard Nixon Elementary School in Yorba Linda, CA are gathered together every morning, told to face a red, white and blue piece of cloth, and recite some dangerous propaganda. Parents report that this clearly Satanic ritual further requires the impressionable youngsters to place their hands over their hearts before parroting the disturbing words.

The daily recitation requires the children to actually give their allegiance to some questionable entity. "Requiring innocent children to give their allegiance to anything is a Socialist plot of those disgusting liberals and Democrats" says Fox News' Sean Hannity. "This must be the latest plan by Barack Obama to indoctrinate America's schoolchildren."

Fox News has further learned that a Satanic "God" is even worshipped as part of the daily recitation. "They make us worship their God" as part of it said "Little Jimmy," whose real name has been changed for his protection. "I don't understand what they are making us say, but my mommy and daddy say that Fox News calls it bad--and they are always right."














Schoolchildren at American elementary school being forced to perform frightening daily ritual.